Not yet tic tac

I completed the weekends requirement this morning. It was very frustrating to be so close to a climax and have to stop.

Bear has asked me several times if i am ever tempted to just not stop, to bring myself to release. I can honestly say that i have not been tempted.

When i gave myself to him; part of our relationship was that he would have control of my orgasms. He would decide when i could and couldn't masturbate, he would decide when i was required to masturbate for his enjoyment, and he would decide wether i have permission to orgasm or not.

Occassionally we have had accidental orgasms, and sometimes he has continued long after i have given him signs that i am to close too orgasm to hold back, without the verbal consent to climax, even though i know he knows that to continue will mean an inevitable orgasm, i still feel that i have orgasmed without permission. It's a shameful feeling, as if i have disrespected his control.

Bear is never angry when this happens, he knows he has forced me to cum without his verbal consent. I think he enjoys the turmoil i go through afterwards.

This morning, i was aware that i still had one task to complete before the end of the day, and while still warm and sleepy in bed this morning i reached for my vibrator, switched it too full power and held it tight to the tip of my clit. I dont know why i did it that way this morning, with no touching, no stroking, circling or rubbing.... just the vibe right on the tip buzzing away, but i did !!

It took quite a while for the effect to filter through to other parts, i think the batteries are wearing down, but when it did, it was delicous. My clit shivered undered the buzz of the silver finger. I pressed harder, and moved it fractionally back and forwards, not letting it leave the tip of my clit.. but covering the whole of my swelling with the shuddering tip of the vibrator.

I felt a warm burning feeling spread down my insides, spreading around the side of my pussy walls, and up the outside of my opening .... i felt my walls tighten..... and release... and tighten again

Then i pulled the vibrator away quickly, and switched it off.

I lay there, enjoying the spreading warmth, and wishing that Bear was with me, that his fingers were poised inches from my clit. I imagined his voice, saying those words i love to hear... "not yet tic tac"