Bear and i met this week, we spent a wonderful day together. I collected him from the railway station like normal, and we drove back to my hotel. I always stay over the night before, it prolongs the excitement and means i dont have to get up really early in the morning to make the most of our time together.

I knew i was due a punishment for not resuming a task i had been excused, but as usual Bear didnt tell me what my punishment would be, but decided to leave me thinking about all the possibilities until the day of our meeting.

I was woken early by his call to let me know he was on his way, and of course to say good morning.

We arrived back at the hotel and despite me wanting to go straight to the room for a hug and a kiss, Bear insisted on going to the little chef next to the hotel for breakfast.

I ate really quickly and drank my drink as soon as i could so we could leave sooner, But then Bear wanted a smoke as well. Im sure he does it on purpose to make me wait as long as possible.

Eventually we went up to the room, and i got the hug i had been waiting so long for. To be wrapped in his arms was delightful. His first kiss was warm and welcoming, so much so that i instantly felt a stirring as his lips explored mine.

We spent a lot of time just kissing and hugging, re-exploring each others bodies. Pretty soon i was naked, on the bed, with his fingers doing the most incredible things to me. He tormented my nipples til i thought i couldnt take any more. Squeezing them, and sucking them, he has an amazing way of making me squirm just by touching my breasts.

I was allowed to pleasure him, we spent ages on that. It was lovely, no control, no quidance, just freedom to pleasure him as i wanted too. He was very vocal, telling me what he was enjoying and what he wanted more of. Warning me of impending release so i could carry on or slow it down if i wanted. He had a wonderful climax that seemed to last for ages. I think he was very pleased with the attention he recieved !

Then it was time to discuss my punishment. Bear always comes up with inventive punishments for me and this time was no different. My punishment was to be in two parts, a physical punishment and a normal punishment. I wont disclose my punishment, as that is between the two of us. But i will admit, it wasnt what i expected, and i didnt enjoy it.

After we had another cuddle, which turned into Bear teasing me again. He has this thing that he does, he touches and circles my button, just light enough to thrill me, but not enough to take me over the edge. He spent ages just circling and rubbing, a perfect mixture of just the right type of touch, just the right amount of touch, i was balanced on the tip of an iceburg slowly melting towards the most tremendous orgasm.

He added to it by sucking and nipping at my nipple, more tenderly than usual, but not so gently that it became frustrating. Trouble was, it was not intense enough to get me off my melting iceburg either.. so there i was, a mess of writhing, squirming, glowing orgasm, primed and waiting to explode.

When he finally increased the pressure down there, and on my nipple my climax was seconds away but lasted a phenominal time.

Many of the orgasms Bear gives me are special, they all seem to be different, unique. Each one has been achieved in a different way, with a different road to its end.

It was wonderful to just have a day together, almost a vanilla day, but not quite. Even when we have a vanilla day, the respect and control is there. But it was a most perfect day, and i cant wait for the next time.

paying the price

Bear returned from his trip away today, i have missed him terribly.

It has been some considerably time since i have been allowed an orgasm, in fact its been many weeks since Bear has required me to masturbate.

I spoke to Bear on yahoo when i got home from work, i indicated to him that i wanted to kiss him and hug him. That i had missed him, and that i was looking forward to our upcoming meeting. I also indicated that i was frustrated.

Bear instructed me that when we stopped talking on yahoo i was to go upstairs and masturbate, but that i was to stop before i reached a climax. Just the thought of being instructed in this way turned me on. But, without thinking i commented that it was a little unfair because i was horny and it had been some time since my last release.

For my efforts, i was then told i would masturbate to the point of orgasm then stop TWICE !!

At that point i decided it might be best not to say anything further.

At the end of our conversation i retired to my room. Prepared my suitcase for my journey tomorrow then proceeded to masturbate as required. I came close to my climax very quickly as i was already aroused from our conversation earlier. I stopped as required, and then when i regained control i began again. I went slower, more carefully, but once again quickly reached the point where i had to stop. I desperately wanted to continue, but Bear hasnt given me permission to cum. I gave myself to Bear, and promised to only cum with his permission or by his hand. As hard as it is, i will keep that promise.

I am certain Bear has more torment and teases for me in the next 48 hours. I have no doubt that he will take me to the edge again more than once before we meet.

In many ways i hate not being in control of my own sexual satisfaction. But the plus side of handing control over to someone else, is that the orgasms i have are much more intense, more satisfying.

Bear has a way of giving me an orgasm that doesnt fully satisfy me, they leave me desperate for more. He knows just how to do it, just where to touch to give me a climax, without relieving the frustration. Like eating a milky way when your starving, it satisfies you momentarily but minutes later your starving again.

When i was able to masturbate freely, i did so out of habit, i rarely enjoyed my orgasms, it was a bit like scratching an itch, similar to the orgasms that Bear gives me that leave me wanting more.

Now, i treasure my orgasms, i look forward to them, i anticipate them, i value them. My orgasms have a meaning now. If i am allowed an orgasm, i dont waste the opportunity, i tease myself the way Bear does, build myself up, make myself wait. I prefer Bear to give me my orgasms, i find them more pleasurable, but since i have given control of my orgasms to him, my masturbation has been more purposeful and deliberate.

I think this week will be one of considerable frustration.. i hope it will be ! because i know, that the orgasm i am finally allowed to have, will be the most amazing release for both of us