On January 24th 2008 i gave myself to him. It was a beautiful experience, similar in fact to getting married.
He made his proposal, in the form of a series of questions and i gave my responses. We had discussed at length the nature of my belonging, and i knew without doubt that if i accepted his proposal it would be a long term relationship and that i would have to ask permission to be released from his bonds.
He had never said when he would ask, but he had told me he would not ask until he considered that i was ready to take that step. We met on that day at a pre planned time, we hugged ( as we always do), then went for a coffee.
A few hours later, when walking, holding hands, we stopped in a place that has become very special to us, and he asked me... Did i want to belong to him? Did i willingly accept all that belonging to him involved? would i do everything i could to please him?
Neither of us liked the term Sir, or Master, but i felt that i wanted a word to show reverence, to indicate that i was aware of his control and accepted it. He allowed me to suggested a few words or terms and he would choose which one he deemed most acceptable. I asked for the word Bear, my reasons were explained, and he agreed that the word was acceptable. From that moment on, in place of Sir, or Master, i would use Bear, and i became little bear, just one of his terms of endearment.
In the ten months of my belonging i have grown as a person, i have learnt as much about myself as i have about him. I was never a "naughty" person, but i wasn't a doormat either, i have always liked to please people, these days i just try harder to please.
Since we became joined, many things have changed. He has control of many aspects of my life, i was happy to relinquish that control. I have retained control in many area's too. I don't need to ask what to wear, i chose clothes i know he will approve of, i chose to do things that i know will please him. We have few rules, we dont need them. I only need to ask permission for some certain things, and if he isn't available to give permission i will decide for myself what i think he would have said. If i get it wrong, i accept the consequences of his displeasure.
The most precious rule we have, is exclusivity. I will only belong to him, and he will not belong with anyone else. That gives me confidence, and makes me want to please him more.
