Distance control

We live about 150 miles apart. We see each other about once a month. Sometimes, working life means we get to see each other more often; sometimes we manage too meet up two or 3 times in one week. But generally speaking, we will meet up once a month. However many times we meet we talk to each other every day, probably more than most couples who live together do.

Distance is an issue, but it isn’t an obstruction. We don’t allow it to be. We work around it. Admittedly the modern age has helped no end; our relationship wouldn’t be the same if it wasn’t for mobile phones and the internet, yahoo chat is our regular form of evening contact.

It doesn’t feel like we are miles away, it feels like we are talking face to face, I know when he is happy, when he is sad, when he is tired, or distracted. He knows the same about me. We have ways of telling things about each other that people who share a house tend to miss. I think, because of the distance between us, we put more effort into noticing these things about each other.

Talking on yahoo, texting, telephone calls are a part of my everyday life. If Bear says something during one of those communications, it’s the same as him saying it directly to me. I treat it with the same regard.

We know how each other is feeling by the tone of responses, the sound of voices. I know when he is teasing me; I know when he is serious. I know when he is pretending to be serious. The only time I am not sure, is when he starts of teasing then changes to serious. But I can’t work that out when I am in his arms either!

We don’t share a house, but we share our lives. We are a true partnership. Within that partnership, we have many facets. One of those facets is control. Bear controls certain aspects of my life. The distance between us doesn’t affect his ability to control me or my feeling of being controlled.

I have heard many people say that distance control doesn’t work. Perhaps that is because the partnership doesn’t work. When Bear instructs me to do something; there is no doubt between us, that it will be done.
He is as sure that I follow his direction over the phone, as he is in emails, and on yahoo. He is as sure of those things as he is when he can see me. He knows that if I am unable to follow a pre-given instruction, I will have a good reason for doing so. Usually it’s something simple, an unexpected time of forced abstinence, or an unexpected family visitor, a work call that needed my immediate attention. These are all acceptable reasons for failing to do as requested. If I have a reason, I am usually excused, although I know Bear reserves the right to insist I make good the request at the next opportunity, or chose to disregard the requirement until another more suitable time.

Distance control is to me, as easy to achieve as live together control. If you respect the person who controls you, then you will do the things he asks, it wont matter if you are 1 mile apart or a thousand miles apart. If the relationship is right, if the partnership is right, you will be compelled to do what was requested.

denial and reward

Bear likes me to ask for things, which is a bit of a problem, i dont like to ask, its not my place to do so, my place is to be respectful, asking is not respectful.

I was brought up with a clear message that it was rude to ask for things.

So Bear takes great delight in getting me to ask for things. I am fussy about food, but i wouldnt ask for something to be made especially for me. Bear always says i should ask for my food to be cooked the way i like it. Just say "may i have a chicken new yorker without the bacon please" he teases. There are many instances i could list, but whats worse than that, is He likes me to ask him for things, which is even harder.

I'm sure he see's it as a challenge, to make me ask for what i want, by denying it too me. It doesn't seem to matter what it is he wants me to ask for, it could be information, it could be a gift, it might be his time, or it could be a personal or a sexual thing.

I am much better at asking for help, especially if its work related, and he never teases me about that. He just helps as much as he can.

Bear likes me to ask for sexual things, because he knows i really dont like to ask, thats super rude to do that. He says it shows his control over me when i ask him for things i wouldnt normally ask for.

He will deliberately kiss everywhere except where i want him to kiss, touch everywhere except where i want to be touched. He knows what i want, and how i want it, i am certain of it, but he deliberately wont do it, he drives me crazy! he will torment me for ages, just touching millimetres away from "the place" till i am forced to ask him in one way or another.

I remember once, we were on a river side walk, we stopped at a bench, kissed and hugged, then kissed some more. His hands wondered discreetly inside my clothes, tormenting my flesh. He ran his fingers up and down my sides, over my breasts, sneaking inside my bra. Within minutes i ached for him to touch my nipples. I moaned softly as his fingers explored everywhere except where i wanted them. He smiled as i wriggled my body trying to "accidently" put my nipples where his fingers where going. Just when i could bear it no longer, he brushed his finger over my erect nipple and carried on touching all around. Eventually i had no choice, i was desperate, i leant forward and whispered, "please Bear, touch my nipples" i asked. He rewarded me by spending ages, rubbing, flicking and squeezing, till i almost cried with delight.

He allowed his hands to wander elsewhere..lucky for us it was a quiet area and we were relatively undesturbed, i was soon desperate to be touched down there, but he wouldnt, he touched so close, tantilisingly close, but just not close enough.

I know he knew i was desperately horny, and i know he planned it that way. He loved the idea of me being torn between asking for something sexual and going home unsatisfied, it excited him enormously. I could see his excitement growing as i got more and more frustrated.

We wandered back to the car, it was almost time to go home. We decided to have one last cigarette, we kissed some more, and he touched again, knowing that would bring the ache and need racing back again.

He kissed and touched, tormented and teased, my need got worse. He kept taunting me, saying "what do you want" or "ask me then", I couldnt ask but i needed to cum, i needed to cum like i had never needed to cum before. I think thats when he realised how much control over me he had. I am not permitted to cum without his permission, and i am not allowed to masturbate without consent either. Sometimes i am required to masturbate, but not allowed to cum. So i knew i had to do something, if i didnt ask, i would have to wait til i was required to masturbate and just hope i was allowed the release i needed. He continued to touch, and tease, kiss and torment... in the end, i grabbed his hand and practically shoved it between my legs, i bucked and thrust against his fingers as they rubbed and flicked the source of my ache, until he gave me the most amazing orgasm. I was so ready i dont think it took more than two minutes.

After, when i had calmed down, regained my composure, i questioned why i had been allowed to cum when i hadnt asked. "you asked without asking, you put my hand there, that was asking, that will do for now" he replied "but remember, one day, you will have to say the words i want to hear, one day you will have to ask for the release you need"